About to sleep,
Raindrops falling on the window pane.
Stupid was I or the year to blame.
Spoken crap to you and suffered too, I guess!
“Fuck You” said life to me, left me in a mess.
Here! Given another chance “wondering” is what I am.
Please bring life back to me or you have another plan?
I understand if you have ‘choices’ in the ‘world’
But for me you are both, my sweet girl!
__________________________________________________________________________________
Alone I am but not really, talking to myself quite clearly.
Hating the solitude but for the good, not helping the motherfucking mood.
Lonely it is but know it will flow; soon enough it will glow,
Like a shining meadow, LIFE will come and say “Hello”.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Stranger in a strange land,
No friends, few fragments of sand.
Built a castle with the same,
‘Broken’ whom to blame?
Dead but still walking!
Finding ways to keep laughing.
People asking for Love and Life,
Can’t find either but still strives.
May be peace is what they require.
Peace alone will stop this hue and cry.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------It wasn’t sarcastic at all, was thanking you for making my life easy,
Woke up! Not anymore dizzy.
Will cruise through as always, sail alone, Sail far!
Peace my friend! Just think of me as a star.
Shining bright from another world, just watching through cloud curls.
Never be touched nor acquired, just looked upon when required.
Never was so happy before, never were things so clear.
Good luck my friend! May you prosper my dear!

......De$peRatE rEmiNdeR......

I’m sitting here counting the times I felt my breath stall out by how many bug bites have littered my arms.

And I remember how in between stolen kisses you touched my wrist, went very still and told me that the pulse beneath your fingers was the rhythm of the different drum that you danced to. That the way my eyes sparked was the light you would use to guide you home.

To me, to me, home to me.

But every tear, every pitter-patter of my swollen heart [not broken, just completely aware of its engorged and painful existence] is a desperate reminder than you are now on the other side of the country and i, i, i am still right here.

So I will just sit in the echo of your raspy twang, draw your smile on the bottom of napkins and count the bug bites until you come home.

Until I am home. Until we are together.

Anchored!!!

It was a whole new begining,

leave the past behind and search for a lining.

came close to achieve the said,

met the afraid instead.

worse than the previous fuck-up,

told myself "act cool and shut-up".

lot of twists and turns on the way,

coping with everything,

in the end becoming prey.

tired of being a loose log,

neither storm comes nor does it clog.

overflowing since birth

no-where there's shortage of tears on earth.

Anchored!!! it was calm for a while,

then another wave came with a smile,

it's been the same all this while..............

$uRRe@L De$pEr@tI0N

I write in my diary about the only person
I have ever loved
Though the pain in my heart seems to worsen

You’re the only one I’ve ever known
Now that I think of it
You are the only one I have ever shown

Any form of longing or caring for
I think of when we kiss
Oh I just want more

But for some reason my lips get so cold
That’s alright, it makes no difference
I am here growing old

With you and that is it
I get in my finest clothes though it is all I have
As always it is a perfect fit

I make my way to the glass where you are kept
I have grown used to your hard chamber
A long time it has sense I last wept

But you were always there for me
You make the same moves, same expressions, same speech
This is how it must always be

I slowly sigh; my heart is at a new elevation
You smile and I smile
In our surreal desperation

Melting Away My Loneliness

Standing, feet warm in this sand
Beach baring such crystal clear within the depths.
Perhaps these are all my tears I have wept.
The chill which was is no longer in the air.
With you, a caring warmth is shared.

Sitting, cuddled in a rocking chair.
Nothing was welcoming me only unruly darkness.
Perhaps, was the case of an unrelenting depression.
A simple message was sent,
A smile swept on by that lasted to night's end.

Walking, cursing the cold snow.
This weather left me numb and alone
Perhaps was my stupidity for venturing out on my own
There you were in an empty street
You welcomed me to the passenger seat

All these times, melting away my loneliness
All these times, easing my sadness
All these times, allowing me to feel
To me, someone of such calibre is so surreal

MY PRAYERS

In this little building sitting on my own
In this tiny house sitting all alone
Then you come and try to see
Then you come and try to get
As close as you can be to me

You have come from far away
I try to push you back to that place
But you won’t take a step or even turn around
So I look at you and try hard not to frown

My hearts been broken too many times to count
Even on two hands you can’t add up the amount
My heart is not for you to mend
I want you to, but you’re only a slight friend

You’re always there to comfort
Always there to talk
But the times I really need you
You always turn and walk

I pretend you’re not there
That you were just one of my prayers
But you are real
Yet you’re so surreal

TIPTOE

She kept the Christmas tree
Up well past march and it’s a
Strange thing,

Your voice
Broken and sad
And

The words, no one understood.
But the silence.

Oh, the

Silence.

And I hum in this
Empty house and

Your call

Echoes and
Echoes. The phone
Keeps ringing and I
Say. I say:

Sorry.

And you say:

Don’t. Just --
Don’t.

But here I am and
There. There you are.

Your face as delicate
As your tears today. And
I touch you as if

You’re a paper boat,
About to float away. And I

Tiptoe

Around your thoughts,
Afraid I’ll wake

You up.

My clothes smell like
You.

My skin
Smells like you. And

There is a dead tiger
In my bed. We’re

Caught between

An electrical storm
Exploding in the sky and

Silence.

I don't think I’ve
Ever loved you more.

ME AS BAIT

When I compare myself to the world,
I see not a single pearl,
Dazzling enough to show me way.
Want to explore new world,
But wonder I should stay,
The way I am.
Free of guilt and shame.

Now I found someone alike
Who gives me hope,
To carry on the fight.
Bright as pole star
But not yet mine as far.
Nothing to lose, I can wait,
Condition is she must
Not use me as bait.
Like others did.
No, I don’t worry
I have complete faith.

In her I see meaning to my life
To bring her happiness I will strive
Give every possible comfort,
Care, love, every single thing
That she can think of.

So that, when I look around
Some other time
I have someone to call mine.
Who is as bright as a star
Show me way even in the dark
With whom a new life can spark...

TELLURIAN FORCES

Away from life I’ve been
Nobody around, none seen.
In my head, constant whirlpools of thoughts
Walking reminiscent of zombie, help I sought.
It’s the same when I started
Still the same, zilch I get.
Sweating all nightmare long
Sometimes wanting it to be long.
Seems my verve is going to change
Everything looks strange.
Stranger in a strange land
Holding life and death in each hand.
Banging my head against the world
Wind of change sometimes swirls.
Fighting to keep my dreams alive
Persist it till I survive.
So many came and perished
In front of the tellurian forces.
Just an effort to follow different courses.
Will last or be last,
Consequence will be lying
In the times of yore,
Once you conquer, u set out for.
Just ask yourself, are you sure????

Cold to the bone in the rain

When the alarm rang out
We thought it was like the rest…
We followed out one by one
Just like we had the day before.
Lined up on the sidewalk
Cold to the bone in the rain.
10, 20, 45, an hour…
The cops showed up,
The firemen too…

We all stood still as fear shot through
The school ground was silent as death
“This is not a drill, please stay calm”
They loaded us up on the bus…
It was no longer safe!
We were huddled into the church building
And a loud voice was heard…
“There has been a storm threat…
We don’t know what to do”

Huddled in a corner with your friends,
Lost with nothing to say…
Your life could have ended.
“Mom please come and get me…
I don’t want to be here anymore…
I don’t feel safe.”
You leave this unsafe room to the warm embrace,
“Are you OK?” you hear in your daze…
“This feels so surreal”

SURREAL

Surreal.
You scribbled everything that ever
Meant something
On a wall that told the stories
Of the real world,
And gave in-depth biographies.
Insight to who we all were.
Surreal.
It measured who I was
By words and failed relationships;
Friendships
Family ties
Significant others...
And I didn't rank so high.
"Surreal."
You whispered in my ear,
Stood back and glanced at
Your handy-work
And artistic skill
"Don't you think it's beautiful?"
Surreal.
I had no idea how to react
As my life was played before
Everybody we knew
On display, in your honor
As theirs was too.
Surreal.
Life seemed sure now
And I was unsure of how to fix this
"It’s a work of art"
Said softly, with your chin
Resting on my shoulder.
Surreal,
That you could find
Everyday life
And mundane
Insecure feelings that never amounted to much
To be so beautiful.
Surreal,
That in the life we've built for ourselves
The important stuff could fit on
A mural the size of a small brick wall
And the rest was just
Time we've wasted.

SCENT OF THE DEAD

Dead rainbows leave the color from sky
And Unicorn feet trample to the beat
Squirrels hide their nuts in spring
Before the grey of winter turns them to trees
Passionate kisses float through the field
As Knights in armor gladly yield
Across the storm and the under the bridge
A salesmen looses confidence a product to pitch
Now hold tight as the reaper fights for light
And be cool as the snow chills the old fool
Sky is red with the scent of the dead
Blood is thick with a heart to pick
Surreal context
Unfulfilled mind
Only time will find

MYSELF IN YOUR EYES

Every passing moment away from you
Bring me closer to the scent of the dead.
Suggest me a cure or in me you pour
Some venom, strong enough to burn my heart.
Or else I will start,
Loving you again!!!
Acting as affliction in me,
Can’t stop thinking of you until I see
Myself in your eyes.
So big and beautiful, revealing your innocence
Capturing resembling fence
Fascinating everybody, leaving nothing to chance.

Looking like an angel dressed in white
More precious than my “being” kept aside.
I was drifting for so long
Want to sail no more, anchor this ship
Make me stable
Make me live life, not skip...

MOONLIT EMTINESS

Your eyes are closed
But there is no dream to see
The voices run along the streets
Past the buried lives
To the crowded hillsides
To the clouds
The fallen monuments
The storm clouds
Across the land
And into the early day
The streaming breeze
Our hands ready to hold onto
The time lapsed
The crowded streets
Bright with language
Soon turning inside
Evading the day
The real distance unfolds
White ash above a fire
Out of time
Night wings gleam
As the rain hardens
Can not distinguish names from waves
The sky is empty without you
Beneath the frosted waves
Swirling with ghosts
Twisting and jumping
Pouring
In blue and black shades
Into the moonlit emptiness

ALL ALONE

...I wanna let go,
But then I wouldn't be able to get a grip of myself.
..Yeah, when I finally let go,
I really can't get a hold of myself.

...But why does it matter?
No one's going to care,
No matter how long,
How hard I longed for them to.

..Yeah, when I finally let go,
It is so surreal.
..It was just simply blacken, what's black.
..It was just simply darken, what's dark.


...Yeah, simply emptied, what's left of me.
..My heart is as dark as my face,
My face as hard as the stone,
My soul as bare as the emptied sky...

..Yeah, I knew that I'm already needing you all.
..But I know, or at least I believe,
That one day when you leave, Heart,
I will break.

..When the others walk away, I will scream for help,
Yet with no one else to be asked, to beseeched to,
I'm just left standing here...
..All alone.

Don't let desire cry

Bathe bodies in chocolate and wine,
Let locks of hair slither, entwine.
Make the bed become a pool of satin,
Become a dead language, speak in Latin.

Let the material whisper words to you,
Enhance a vision of what it wants you to do.
Have black leather become your skin,
Don't let desire cry, allow it to win.

Have ribbons tie themselves around your throat,
Change your leopard's spots, make a mental note.
Let the moon become fire so the night is warm,
Let man meet woman so that life is born.

Make flowers bloom in a little girl's eye,
Adventure space; see whether the sun can cry.
Your secret keeper is the graying veil,
Don't let the spikes eat you at the top of that rail.

ALL THAT WE ADORE

All that we adore
Is lost forever more
All that we own
Is all we've ever know.

There is hope for hopeless
But there is nothing less.
We're finding our redemption
Is nothing more than another temptation.

Screams come forth eternally
from silent lips that move uselessly.
The blind shall see, the deaf shall hear
but what sounds close isn't really so near.

Fish jump in the sky
darting behind clouds as they pass by.
Beneath your feet stars spin in oblivion
representing that beautiful nothing you insist on living in.

Mermaid in the pool
Turns out she's just another tool
to lead you to your failure
Ignore the temptation, turn away from her.

This seems so real,
Would your mind really steal
Random bits of fact and fiction
To create this grand illusion?

Is this a hallucination?
Your own created nation
Full of traps and bribes and temptations?
Are you free of emulation?

Paradise can be hell
after only a few steps you fell.
Crying out as you hit the ground
but no one else heard a sound.

You reach out to touch her body
such a lithe and curving beauty.
She vanishes in a whisp of smoke
you failed the test before she even spoke.

You're running away so fast,
Traps being set, bait is the ghosts of your past.
Every thought, all your dreams
are being used for evil schemes.

In a world surreal
you come to heal
but your scars reopen
and you bleed again.

So fast can a dream become a nightmare,
So quickly the one you want isn't there.
Thoughts become traps; wishes are bait
you wish to escape before it's too late.

You cover in the corner
shivering in terror.
Do you still want your dreams to come true?
I wouldn't wish it if I were you.

Is this surreal
or is this so real?

*COMPANIONS OF LIFE*

When a man is born, he is tender
And weak
At death, he is hard and stiff.

When the things and the plants are alive, they
Are soft and supple.
When they are dead, they are
Brittle and dry.

Therefore, hardness and stiffness are
The companions of death.
And softness and gentleness are
The companions of life.

Therefore, when an army is headstrong,
It will lose in battle.
When a tree is hard, it will be cut down.

The big and strong belong underneath.
The gentle and weak belong at the TOP.

*COME TO AN END*

Don’t walk with me now
You all alive person
I’m busy with my friends
With only a small piece of land.

No where I can find the peace like here
Having the darkest nature.
But with the broad heart
The lights of it all around.

Neither here is hate
With only my grave mates.
Nor here is sword,
With those pinching word.

No alive person can,
Torture me.
I am there, where people
Cannot see me
With a few piece of land
Where the life come to an end.