NOT A SINGLE PEARL

Hey Father!

Where are you? Why can’t I be with you?
Why I never had your love? Is it me, who is wrong?

People talking around me and I could not connect.
Never experienced the childhood like all of them did.
The games they were playing are alien to me.
They looked at me with disbelief, how can it be?

Everyone shared nice and joyous moments of life.
I tried to find one but unable to see.
Cry or laugh, I don’t know!
Lived so long in darkness
Light seems to be unapproachable.

I don’t regret my past
It HAUNTS me sometimes.
Sucking everything left inside
Throws its shadow on me constantly.

Present suffers, won’t let future too.
Trying to leave it behind but will I be able to?

Answer my father!! Are you listening?
Never answered, I keep on calling.
Never let you know what I am going through
But isn’t it your job to ask me too?

The memories of me crouching under the bed,
All alone inside the hostel, wish I’d be dead.
Spending Christmas at friend’s place
Stood last in the race.
No one was there
Needed a shoulder
Searched for a face.
Still…no one was there.

Winter holidays
Standing for the wave to arrive at bay,
Storm came but not the wave
Lightening blazed, sky glazed.
Me, still standing for my wave.

Spent holidays playing music
Traveling places, watching the world
Always came across the shells
Not a single pearl.

How can I forget the past?
It’ll stick to me till I last.
Tried hard to get over it
Searched for remedies
Haunts me so much
I wonder…
Will I rest in PEACE!!!!